Friday, January 11, 2008

Fits, Tantrums and the like

I've had it up to here (imagine me holding my hand waayyyy over my head) with fits, tantrums, emotional meltdowns, screaming children, etc., etc. ,etc.

Fits because:

* I did not turn the TV off immediately (and I mean within a nano second) after Thomas the Train is over

* I turned Thomas the Train off too soon and someone wanted to watch the credits (like they can even read!)

* Someone has 5 trains and the other only has 14

* Someone has 1 Thomas and the other wants all four

* I let him talk to Grandma on the phone before I let her

* They both want to sit on my lap

* He wants his diaper changed by the bed instead of where I am waiting with the wipes and diaper by the dresser

* He wants to be held

* They don't want to have quiet time

* She doesn't want him to sit by her, touch her, talk to her, be in the same room as her...

* He doesn't want him to see the book I am reading to all of them

* I didn't let him pick out the shirt, pants, socks himself

* I carried him up the steps and he wanted to walk

Can anyone else relate? Is there a way to diminish the tantrums or is it something that must simply be endured? If you have an answer, or even a suggestion, SPEAK, and earn my eternal gratitude!

I know it will end someday. And on the positive side, these many, many tantrums may teach me many life lessons like... patience? (I'm trying to find the silver lining.) Regardless, I have been blessed with 4 healthy children and I am thankful, even for the fits. I think!


Anonymous said...

Megan, I know what you're going through. As they gain control of their surroundings (no diaper-related issues, they can read on their own, etc.), it seems like the perpetual unhappiness subsides. Right now, they're at your mercy for their schedule. And while I know that you make choices based on love and compassion, they just know you're not meeting their EVERY need exactly when they want you to. When they can start meeting more of their own needs, I think some of the tantrums will decrease. Not end, by any means, but decrease. My kids are 16, 14 and 9 and there are still times that tantrum-like behavior surfaces!


Mindy said...

Oh Megan, I feel for you! Although Noah is younger than your kids, we are in the whining stage and so I do understand what you are going through! The only advice I can give is seems that the children reciprocate your attitude. If you get grouchy and upset and short with them they will just be that much worse. So even when you want to pull your hair (or theirs!) out try to speak calmly and with authority because they will respond as you respond. I'm sure you already knew that but it's just a reminder! I need to be reminded of that daily! I hope your weekend goes good!

Taylor said...

Okay, maybe my kid might just be "normal" and not just a unique kid full of rules that seem to change day by day. You describe exactly my daughter to the tee. It drives me nuts and I only have one that can do it right now! Everytime I do or say something, I get met with correction or sassy attitude. If I want her to do one thing she does the opposite or says the opposite of something I say. Since we moved and are on one level, she spends a lot of time thinking about her actions in her bedroom and she is not allowed to come back out until her attitude has changed. Hang in there, and take time for you too!

Jami said...

Oh I hear you!!!!! My kids can throw fits so quick, I am almost blown where did that come from! And the bad thing is that fits only come in one sound decibel....LOUD or I guess maybe two....LOUDER!!!!!!!!!

My advice is just give them candy and they will stop short! :) Just kidding...really I am right with you...time outs have been pretty effective lately though. I love you!

megs @ whadusay said...

Time outs is what I typically use - they have to sit in THE chair and that has been fairly effective at ending the tantrum. It just seems to do so little for the amount of tantrums they throw!

Mama Runner said...

My best strategy is to ignore, not that I'm always successful at it. Tantrums seem to be shorter and fewer if you don't respond. "I'm going to all this work and mom isn't even noticing?!?" I try to only intervene if she's a danger to herself or others. But it is still very frustrating!

hubergal said...

oh my word. are you sure this isn't smith you're talking about? :) it's not quit as 'fitty' anymore, but still much stubbornness and arguing. i think it does get better eventually. but sadly i don't know how to stop it. heaven knows i'd tell you if i did.

Kristy said...

Oh, isn't it amazing how all two year olds (and three probably) are the same? Yesterday, I told Cade I had HAD it with his whining. I told him "Please, not one more peep" to which he laughed and said "peep, peep". : ) I think the key is time outs and making sure they're well-rested. Cade is so much worse when he's tired so if he gets too bad, I put him to bed early. Sigh.... and I'm just entering this stage again with another one. Makes me weary thinking about it.

megs @ whadusay said...

Kristy - I think you are on to something with the well-rested thought. The tantrums are a little less in frequency when good naps have been taken. My problem right now is that the boys play too much and don't sleep during "quiet time". I need to separate them, but am not sure where to put them. I'll have to start experimenting with new quiet time places. Maybe if they aren't together, they will actually be quiet!

Anonymous said...

If you love your children you will do the right thing.

Jim Diamond