Change is Coming

I've been feeling a little melancholy today.

We are in the process of moving Sean out of Suhn's room. Sunday night was his first night in a "big boy bed" which he shares with his sister. Today I will be moving his clothes and toys into the boys room. The kid will have one room by day and another by night.

It is exciting. It signifies the coming of change. I have never been great with change.

I think every pregnancy this melancholy feeling visits me as I realize our family dynamic will transition to somethingn else. No matter how much I look forward to the change itself a part of me mourns the idea that things will never be the same. This "pregnancy" is no different.

I know the feelings will pass. I know we will adjust to our new family dynamic. I can't wait for Suhn to come home. But for me, transitions are hard. They mark the end of something.

When I remember they also mark a new beginning, the melancholy feeling dissipates some.

Never completely, but I am okay with that.

Its just one more part of the journey.

An Audience of One

If I lived my life for an Audience of One.

I could speak the truth in love without worrying about what the other person thought of me, if I did it for an Audience of One.

I could write for for the sole pleasure of delighting Him and not think twice about how I might appear to others.

I could dance and look like a fool to those watching as long as the Audience of One smiled his approval.

Relationships would deepen, because I would be looking at others through the eyes of One instead of the eyes of many.

Criticism and displeasure from others wouldn't phase me as long as One was whispering his pleasure in my ear.

By living for One I could lose the shackles I place on myself; the worry of whether I measure up to those around me; the desire to be liked; the trap of comparison; the obsession of what others think.

I could lose these shackles that hold me back and keep me from taking risks the One asks of me.

If I lived my life for an Audience of One.

Letting Go

First Grade... It sounds so much older than Kindergarten.

I thought once I made it through the transition to Kindergarten, the end of summer would become easier.

It hasn't.

It feels just as hard this time around. I want to hold on to the days and find some way to slow them down.

Letting go is a hard, deliberate process.

And yet, once the transition is complete and I have readjusted to our new normal I get excited about the growth I see in my almost-first grader. The sadness at how fast she is growing dissipates a little and an excitement at who she is becoming starts to build.

I think that is probably the way it is supposed to be.

So, today I will attempt to unwrap another summer day with my kids and give thanks for the people they are growing up to be.

For more Tuesdays Unwrapped be sure to visit Chatting at the Sky!