Why we should NOT adopt - Reason #3

Reason #3: Adoption sounds scary. What if I don't love our adopted child enough? What if our personalities clash? What if she doesn't fit in with our family? (for reason # 1 & # 2 go here)

I have to say, the further I get into this adoption process, the less scared I feel.

Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. But even in the midst of the moments when I think, "What in the world are we doing?" "Are we crazy?!" "Will I love this child?", I have a peace deep down. It calms me and reminds me that God knows what we are doing, we are not crazy and yes, we will love this child.

In fact, I already do.

The love and excitement I feel for this little girl who has probably not been born, is nothing short of a miracle. It is a work of God.

I have a feeling it may be even more miraculous once we have our little girl home and real life sets in.

It is easy to be in love with the idea of adoption and a little girl I have not yet met. After all, what's not to love? But once she is home and throws tantrums and has sleepless nights will she still be as easy to love? What if we don't bond quickly? Will she still be as easy to love?

That is when the miracle of love will become obvious. It may not appear as a feeling (feelings come and go), but we are committed to loving this little girl. She is ours. She was meant to be a part of our family. We are not complete without her.

I know God will continue to strengthen my love for this child that I have never met throughout this crazy adoption process. I know he won't stop strengthening that bond once we have her home.

He is, after all, the creator of love. I think He can do it!

Why We Should Not Adopt - Reason #2

I finally know what it means to be knee-deep in paper. Ah, the joys of the first trimester of adoption (aka paper pregnancy)!

We are slowly wading through the mounds of paperwork, building steam as we go. The further in to it we get, the less overwhelmed we feel - most days anyway.

Our agency is very organized - that helps.

And, we are making progress - that's good.

Along with the paperwork, payment deadlines loom. Payment for the home study. Payment to the adoption agency. Lots of little payments as we sift through the paperwork. Payments to certify and authenticate. Payments to the Chinese government. It is more than a little scary.

The high cost of adoption is a barrier for a lot of people. It was #2 on my list of reasons why we should not adopt. Adoption is expensive, and we don't don't have that much money sitting in our bank account.

So, I am learning to trust.

Psalm 50:10 states that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Matthew 10:30 tells us God knows the number of hairs on our head.

He is a God with unlimited resources.

He is a God who knows me intimately and loves me anyway.

He is a God who will provide for our needs as we move forward in this adoption.

Obviously we need to be good stewards of what He has given. We cannot act foolishly with our money and expect God to grow a money tree in the backyard. He doesn't work that way.

But, I can trust him to provide for my needs.

When I let go of my financial worries and turn them over to my Father, I start to get excited.

I also get excited when I see His people band together to help lessen the financial barriers to adoption. There are a few organizations out there who offer grants and interest-free loans to families pursuing adoption.

Lifesong for Orphans is one of them.

We are hoping to work with this organization to raise funds once we get a little further down the paperwork road.

When I look at the bills that will be due as a result of this adoption, I get a lump in my stomach. I worry that we won't be able to pay for things on time.

Then I remember... my Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He will provide.

I need to trust.

Why we should NOT Adopt - Reason #1

In a previous post I gave three reasons that were holding us back from pursuing adoption.

Today I'd like to talk a little about reason #1: We already have 4 children ages 5 and under.

Frankly, I wonder a little about our sanity. Maybe the kids are taking a greater tole on our mental health than we'd care to admit...

The other day I was listening to the radio (how's that for a transition!). Two young men were being interviewed for writing a book called "Do Hard Things." The authors of this book (Alex and Brett Harris) were 18 when they wrote it. They wrote it to challenge their generation to "do hard things" for the glory of God.

They were asked the question "What did your parents do to raise boys (their older brother has written books as well) who are doing these big, hard things at young ages?

They said their Dad gets this question a lot and gives this piece of advice to parents:

1. Live your life
2. Invite your children to live it with you
3. If you need more steps, repeat 1 and 2

This hit home with me.

We have been feeling called to pursue adoption, but I kept thinking how restricting a large family can be. For example, the larger our family is

• the less vacations we will be able to take
• the more expensive babysitting will be
• the more chaotic our family will be now and then (imagine what family gatherings will be like once they are all married and have families of their own).
• Not to mention the kind of vehicle we would have to drive. I'm still not ready to go there!

The advice, "live your life" kept resonating with me. If God calls us to adopt and enlarge our family, we need to act. Yes, our children might not be able to take as many vacations, but if they see us living out God's call on our lives, isn't that better?

I hope my children will "do hard things" for the glory of God some day. But, if I am unwilling to do "live my life" and follow His lead, how can I expect them to?

It is encouraging to watch friends and family doing the "hard things" God has called them to. I have family who have left the states to follow God's call in other countries. I have a friend who gave up her growing business to "be there" as her children grow up. I have friends who are pursuing publication which inevitably means rejection because God is calling them to write.

Doing hard things come in many shapes and sizes. For us, at this time in our life, it means adoption.

What hard thing is God calling you to today? Remember, whenever God calls you out of your comfort zone He has a plan. And it will be worth it. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

I can't wait to see Him work!

Why We Should NOT Adopt

A lot of people are adopting these days (at least a lot of people I know). Our church currently has children from Guatemala, China, Ethiopia and Korea. It is exciting!

Kory and I have always felt a desire to adopt someday. But it is a lot easier to commit to the elusive "someday" than to actually take a step forward and begin the process.

Over the past several months we have been feeling that "someday" might be closer than we originally thought.

That thought is more than a little scary, prompting me to come up with a list of reasons why someday is NOT today.

Reason #1: We already have 4 kids ages 5 and under.

Reason #2: We cannot afford an adoption right now. Throw in the current economic conditions and add up what is in our savings account and many people would consider us foolish to take on the cost of adoption right now.

Reason #3: Adoption sounds scary. What if I don't love our adopted child enough? What if our personalities clash? What if she doesn't fit in with our family?

But here is the bottom line...

Every time I hold and love on my baby boy, I think of the 143 million children who have NO ONE to hold and love on them. I read posts like this. I am exposed to organizations like Compassion and Lifesong. We feel a call to do more.

So last week we filled out and mailed our application to an adoption agency. Yesterday the agency called. We were approved! Which means, we have officially started the process.

We hope to adopt a little girl from China.

It will be a very long process. Currently it is taking over 3 years to adopt a healthy child from China. We are okay with the wait - for now.

As for the three reasons why we should not adopt, I'll get back to those in later posts. God has made it obvious to my heart that regardless of those reasons, He has called us TO adopt.

And that reason trumps all.