Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Why I like to go to Target by my SELF.

I avoid going to Target with all five kids as MUCH as possible.

One or two or even three kids is fine, but all five with little ole me is asking for Trouble (which was capitalized intentionally).


Sometimes, however, I can not avoid it. Especially during summer.

So we go.

Hello, Target customers. Why yes they are ALL mine. Thank you SO much for asking.

Before we enter the building we have the same conversation. Every. Time.

Kids, What are we going to do?
Answer:  STICK TOGETHER.
Does that mean you can run ahead of me?
Answer:  NO
Does that mean you lag WAY behind?
Answer: NO
All righty then, Here We Go!

Sometimes the pep talk works, if we run in and out in record time, but A LOT of times it doesn't.

Two run ahead. One lags behind. I try to yell without yelling. Get. Over. Here. Now.
Stick. To.Geth.er!!! 


Fights break out over who gets to push Suhn in the stroller. 


A flip flop breaks leaving one kid hopping/walking barefoot/alternating between both options. 


They hide behind and in clothes racks. 
They knock things off the shelves.
They pout because I veto the orange tic tacs.
They pout because they don't WANT Sean to push them.
They lay down in the middle of the aisle because they WANT to push Suhn.


One pees his pants.


Sigh.


Hello, Target customers. Anyone want to buy a kid?


Hahahahahaha. I jest.


BUT, just to be safe... I think I need to try HARDER to avoid going to Target with ALL five kids.

9 comments:

Cindy said...

Next time someone asks if they are all yours, sweetly smile and say, "I enjoy shopping with children so I borrowed a few from my neighbor for this particular errand." :)

The Waite Family said...

I am totally with you on this one! Everytime I go there is a scene. I probably need to start going to another Target....lol.

L, Ann and boys said...

girl I hear you. I hope you get to go solo next time and get a coffee too. =)

Andria

leah said...

oh my word. i laughed out loud! this is really cute...you are such a great writer!

Jami said...

very funny!!!!

Marla said...

Ha Ha! Guess you'll have to call Grandma next time.

The Unruh's said...

OK...seriously...could you not have read my life any better! I thought I was the only one who hated going to Target with my 4 little ones! I love my kids so much, but I don't enjoy shopping with them...and not all four can fit in the shopping cart these days!

Our Journey to Grace and Olivia said...

sorry that was so funny - girl I get the girls (now I only have two with me usually) but popcorn has been my ticket lately!

smw said...

this is so funny. :) (when it's not me.) :)