Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Waiting

I feel antsy and restless, unsettled.

I know many of you who read this blog have experienced this feeling. The knowing you have a child on the other side of the world that you can't go get.

I feel an obsessive compulsive need to stay near my laptop, just in case my computer dings with news or additional instructions from our agency. The desire to do something, even immigration paperwork, is strong. The hope that somehow our file will move through the system faster than any file ever before sending us to China in record time can't help but creep into my thoughts and prayers.

Three to five months is not a long time. I have friends who have had to wait so much longer, but on this side of the waiting, it feels like an eternity and I find myself secretly wishing the time away.

It takes too much effort to learn from, even *gasp* relish, the waiting. My head whispers the positives of the next few months, the lessons that could be learned... but my heart shouts back, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

Thankfully, I hear another whisper from the One my soul loves, "Patience child, my timing is best." and in my heart I know He's right. And, for the moment, I turn away from the laptop and get back to the living that is going on around me.

The waiting can be a hard thing to unwrap. I am learning it is an exercise of trust in the One who holds time in His hands. That doesn't make it easy, but it does bring peace and purpose and miraculously makes the waiting worthwhile.


Tracey said...

I find the "sitting still and waiting" periods of life to be quite challenging! It's amazing how many verses God gives us about waiting on Him. I'm thinking He knew how difficult it would be for us! :)

Katie said...

I seem to be anxious about so many things at this time as well. He is sovereign and knows what's best for us though!

emily freeman said...

Suhn is beautiful. I had to scroll down to read your posts about her. Waiting is one of the hardest things, ever. Blessings to you and your family as you navigate through this unique time together.

Heidi Klopfenstein said...

I agree, waiting to go, is not easy! You say it so well. You are in my prayers.

Scooper said...

Oh my! How amazing. I am inpatient in the little things...I can't imagine how impatient I'd be in the big things. Blessings to you in the waiting!

Jami said...

Megan - all your posts are beautiful. It takes me right back to when we first got Hudson's referral. I love you and will keep praying for you!

christine said...

Beautifully written! Amen!