Friday, August 07, 2009

One Step Closer

An exciting announcement was delivered to my inbox today. Our dossier (as of yesterday afternoon) is on its way to China!

This means it passed the inspection of our agency and has been translated.

In 3 -5 days our agency's representative in China will hand deliver those precious documents to the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs).

Then we wait for the CCAA to "log-in" our dossier - typically within four weeks of receipt.

And then we wait again; only this wait has a picture at the end of it. We wait to see the precious face of our daughter for the first time!

With each milestone the fact that we are working towards bringing a little girl, our little girl home, becomes a little more real. Most days I am excited about this prospect. I dream about and pray for our little one.

But there are some days when the fear and insecurities creep in and I start to question everything. I wonder if she will really feel like she is ours. I wonder if we are doing the right thing. I question my motives. I worry that our life will get too hard. I get scared.

In the midst of those moments I feel paralyzed.

Deep down, I don't think the fear and the unknowns ever leave. But even deeper down, the assurance that we are on the path God has placed us doesn't leave either.

I know God has a heart for the orphan. I know that he desires for every child to have a home. I want to be a part of that.

Yes the fear is there. Yes it will be hard.

But, He will be there with us. And as much as that sounds like "the right thing to say", it is the truth and I'm clinging to it.

So we keep moving forward on this adoption journey he has placed us on and I'm excited (and a little fearful) to say we are one step closer.

9 comments:

Heidi K. said...

Congratulations on being one step closer to your little girl!

Jami @ livelaughlove5 said...

Megan that's so exciting!! Praying for you!

Alesa said...

Hey Megan, we'll continue to pray for you guys during this transition. I can relate to all of the emotions you are going through. I'd probably respond the same way you are. :)
All that being said, we are so excited for you and for the little girl that will become a Kaeb!!

Heidi Rink. said...

So very excited for your family, even the part across the seas.
Love you and neat to be able to visually see that He who began a Good work in you will perform it to the day of completion!

smw said...

i think i would feel all the same emotions that you are feeling. we will pray for you; during the waiting, and then during the following transitions.

love ya!

Mom said...

As He continues to move this adoption in the positive direction it can confirm to you that His blessing is in it. We are thankful and look forward with anticipation to meet our new granddaughter!
Mom and Dad Kaeb

leah said...

yipeeeeeee.

so excited for you guys.

it was so fun chatting and catching up with you at GH.

can't wait to hear more about your little girl.

Sue Heimer said...

Waiting..that involves Patience...And it is so hard. Especially as you are getting so near the finish line of your adoption experiene and you can start to feel the tingleing of your arms in anticipation of holding your precious little girl! Rejoicing with you and thanks for the update!

Janell said...

congrats Meg! That is huge and feels so good, doesn't it? :) Praying for your little girl and for you!