He was busy with work. I was busy with the kids. We were both tired. Once the kids were in bed we'd veg in front of the TV, or he'd work and I'd read.
Like I said, it was never intentional, but somewhere we started to drift. We weren't connecting like we used to. So we decided to do something about it.
I believe every marriage can benefit from a little continuing education. For us, that involved attending Family Life's Weekend to Remember marriage conference.
We first attended one of these conferences around our 5 year wedding anniversary. A couple of weeks ago we attended again (our 10 year anniversary is coming up in a month). The information was basically the same, but the impact was noticeable and profound.
We were reminded of simple truths:
- "Every marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting toward isolation." And if you are not intentionally choosing oneness, eventual isolation is the result.
- "We must choose to receive our spouse as God's perfect provision for us."Receiving is NOT based on our spouse's performance.
- "Differences are God's tools to teach us to trust Him and His goodness. God uses our natural differences, weaknesses, and selfishness to build oneness."
We were given a clearer understanding of what love and respect really mean. We were reminded and taught ways to improve our communication and conflict resolution. And, we were given time to reconnect. Time to focus on us away from the busyness of life.
I have to confess going into the conference there were a few "things" I hoped Kory would take away from the weekend, ways I wanted him to improve. He did, but through the weekend I discovered that I was the one that really needed to change. And, those areas where God convicted me have resulted in new fruit in our marriage.
If you have never been to a Weekend to Remember, I would highly recommend it. Whether you are feeling isolated or connected to your spouse, every marriage can benefit from the wisdom shared at these conferences. I think you will find the investment it takes to go well worth the effort.
To see upcoming conference locations and dates go here.