Friday, June 08, 2012

Waiting for an Answer

It's funny how one answer can change the course of a life.

Monday morning Kory and I found ourselves waiting in a small brightly colored room. We were waiting for a doctor to answer one question.

A couple months ago we found a small lump on my thyroid. My doctor told me not to lose sleep over it. 90% of the time these nodules, which are very common, are non-cancerous. A biopsy was taken and found inconclusive. The next step was surgery to remove the lump. 

The surgery was completed last week and the wait for pathology results coupled with recovery began. A positive result (the lump being benign) meant life would go on as normal. A negative result would mean more surgery (to remove the entire thyroid) and (my biggest fear) would jeopardize our adoption process. China does not allow people who have had cancer to adopt unless they have been cancer-free for a certain number of years.

So, even with the odds very much in my favor, I spent my recovery week wavering between trust and worry, doubt and trust and in general trying to put the whole thing out of my mind via prayer and the BBC drama Lark Rise to Candleford. (Side note: I made it through season 1 and most of season 2 and in the process fell in love with the characters, found myself thinking in a British accent and calling my parents “mar” and “par.”)

I know "adoption” doesn't seem to fit in a “thyroid cancer scare” post, but this waiting week for me has been more about learning to trust that He called us to adopt little boy than it has been about my health. In a strange way, it has been one more confirmation that this step we took to adopt is the right one.

I’m sure you’ve guessed: there was no cancer.

In hindsight, the fear seems out of place.

Hindsight will do that for a person.

Walking out of the doctor’s office we both breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and then…
We plunged back in to everyday life, thankful for the privilege to do so.

“the Lord’s plans stand firm forever;
his intentions can never be shaken.”

Psalm 33:11


Amber said...

Oh Megan, how I understand. We had almost essentially the exact same situation through the beginning of our process and it was an emotional roller coaster at times but a faith strengthening one as God taught me to cling to HIS promises and not my emotions and fears that could creep in. So thankful for the good news and praying you continue to see God pave the way to your little boy.

Jami said...

I am so thankful with you Megan! I was also wavering with worry and trust during your wait! I love you and can't wait to meet little boy!!

smw said...

so thankful, as you know. :)

Emily said...

so glad for your good news-- i can only imagine how hard your week was!!!!

Our Journey to Grace and Olivia said...

Wonderful news - run the race girl! Much lies ahead worth running after! That little boy will keep your eyes on the prize I just know it

Maria said...

So thankful and relieved for you!

The Waite Family said...

That is great news Megan! I totally understand what you were feeling. So many thoughts will run through our minds during a time like that. Now it's time to focus on what lies ahead for you and your family...what a blessing!

Daish said...

Meg, thank the Lord! I'm pretty positive I wouldn't have been worried at all waiting for an answer on something like that. ;)

Missy at Its Almost Naptime said...

#1 - YEA for no cancer.

I get how you think only in adoption terms. A couple of months ago I was about 10 days late. Now, had I been pregnant, the messiah might be on his way back - but all I could think about was "I can't be pregnant! It will mess up our adoption!"

Obviously, I'm not.