Thursday, November 08, 2007

Interview with a Mom - Brenda

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

Brace and I are both 55 years old, and can hardly believe it! We have been married 33 years. We have 3 children, 2 of which are married, and 4 grandchildren.

We are empty nesters and love it, but I am sure this is because our children live near us and drop over quite often.

Why do you love being a mom?

I so agree with Ps127:3 “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Our children add such depth to our lives! When they were young, they forced us to give of ourselves for the sake of others – them. As they grew older and started thinking for themselves more, they challenged us. What do we really believe? Do we believe it is important enough to go through the struggle of getting them to obey? I have often thought, no human can change us like our kids.

Now that they are adults, they are wonderful counselors and friends! They know us so well, we trust them, we are secure in their love, they understand us, they are willing to be gut level honest with us. And, of course, now they are providing grandchildren. What beats that?!

What has been the most challenging part about being a mom for you?

Without question, the toughest part for me was dealing with disobedience. I really do not enjoy confronting people, and I am a type A individual. Getting tasks accomplished is a big deal to me. So, when my children didn’t obey, it was a double whammy. It took more time, and I had to confront. Often I resorted to the drill sergeant technique – talk loudly and sternly, and surely they’ll obey. I don’t recommend this approach, by the way. Once I was barking orders at Brett, and Daisha said, “Mom, he has to obey you. Just tell him what to do. You don’t have to yell.” That made sense to me, I tried it, and lo and behold, Brett obeyed.

Share your favorite bible verse and why it means so much to you.

Ps 33 has always been special to me, because it helps me see that my life is in His Hands. That is very comforting to me because I know He loves me with a perfect Love. He knows me totally, and knows absolutely what is best for me and mine. I especially like the last verse: “Let thy mercy , O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in Thee.” I interpret that. . . . the more I turn over to Him, the more He’ll do; thus, it inspires me to run to Him with everything. I am so grateful He doesn’t weary of my coming. He actually wants me to.. …..He knows my weakness and knows I desperately need Him, so it delights Him when I come running. Isn’t that so wonderful?!!!

How do you keep your husband first in the midst of mothering?

When our kids were young, we started taking a date night 2 or 3 times a month. It was interesting. When we first started “dating”, we did a lot of arguing. I think there was a lot bottled up inside that we didn’t have time or opportunity to talk about. I’m so glad we didn’t give up on the idea. We kept at it, and soon our dates were very special, peaceful, productive evenings out. By the way, when we started this, we didn’t have much money, so we’d go to Burger King or Wendy’s. It worked.

Share a special holiday tradition that your family keeps.

Usually the weekend after Thanksgiving, we go to a Christmas tree farm and cut our trees. Then we all go out to eat. This is getting more difficult as our children’s families are growing, but it lasted a long time and was so fun while it lasted. I love Christmas!

Do you have any parting advice for young moms?

Oh my. . . I will preface this with the fact that I did not do or even understand what I am about to say, when I was a young mother. I made so many mistakes, and guess what. . my kids have made it. I’ll keep this simple. . .

The work is done in prayer. Sometimes that is all that God is asking us to do. Listen to Him, He’ll tell you what to pray.

Enjoy your kids as Jesus enjoys you. It is God’s job to raise them through you. So relax in Him.

I always feel guilty telling this to mothers with children at home, because I am an empty nester with lots of alone time, but here I go. .. . .Nothing can take the place of unhurried time alone with God. Know that I didn’t do this much at all until I got chronic fatigue syndrome 3 years ago and had to sit. I praise God for CFS because I have learned to know my Father like never before. The more I know Him, the more I trust Him, the more He can do. . . not the more I can do , the more He can do. That is the secret. It is like the difference between sprinkling your lawn and a wonderful rain.

One more thing. . . If you want your kids to be open and vulnerable with you, be open and vulnerable with them.

Thanks Brenda for sharing with us!


Jami said...

Great words, Aunt Brenda! I love you!

Thanks Mego - good choice on the interview! :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Megan--I forgot to tell you that I met your Aunt Brenda when I was out in Leo a few weeks ago and really enjoyed talking to her, she is a neat lady! Great interview, I love reading them :)

Daish said...

I'm not quite sure who this Brenda is, but she sounds like an amazing mom.

megs @ whadusay said...

She is Daish - maybe I'll introduce you sometime. :)