Just what are we to do about our fears? Is it possible to take them all on at once? I don't think so. God can, if He so chooses, to supernaturally deliver us in a moment's time, and sometimes He does. But just as often, He tells us to put one foot in front of the other and follow His lead; and in doing so, He shows us our moment-by-moment need for Him. That way we learn how to trust; we learn how to battle.
Today I saw this:
I have been feeling a few fears lately. Specifically, adoption related fears.
A friend recently asked me, "Do you ever stress out about going to 5 kids?"
To which I replied, "Not really, it hasn't seemed too overwhelming."
Until after we had that conversation. Today it feels very overwhelming.
Our social worker is coming by for a routine visit today. Over the past two weeks, Kory and I have decided to fill out the medical condition checklist from our agency. Once our social worker signs it, we will fax it in.
The checklist says that we are open to getting a child with cerebral palsy or physical development delays. It also means we could be matched with a child much sooner than we originally anticipated.
Kory has been open to special needs from the start. He is a physical therapist who works with kids with special needs; it is one of his passions. I have been a little slower, but have sensed God leading in that direction from the beginning and feel peaceful about taking this step.
But then the fears come.
I'm thankful for the reminders from Susie and Francis: put one foot in front of the other and follow His lead and don't cling to the balance beam (aka live the "safest life possible") or you will miss out on God's call for your life.
I understand the fear will come and go throughout this process. My prayer is that it won't paralyze me and I can keep taking steps of faith (even if they are baby steps), trusting my Saviour knows the way.