Walls

One week ago today we caught the first glimpse of our daughter. It’s been a hard week. And long, it has been a looonnngg week. Looking back, I am amazed to see how far we have come in one week which has felt like a month… or longer. If I could have told myself a week ago this is where we’d be I might not have had my multiple breakdowns.

Maybe.

On our first trip to Ukraine (where we ran a week-long VBS at an orphanage) there was a group of older kids with hard faces who seemed impossible to reach. Yet, connections were made and the hardness would fade by the end of each day. The next morning, when we’d come back the hardness had returned to the faces. Walls had been built while we slept making the first task of the new day the breaking down of walls.

It feels that way with Suhn. Each day the wall we worked so hard to tear down the day before has returned. But each day the wall is slightly lower and comes down a little easier.

Wall demolition comes a little harder for me. The blockade Suhn puts between us is stronger than the one between her and her “ba ba.” It’s coming though. She actually cried when I disappeared from her line of sight today. When I came back she would barely look at me, but she did stop crying.

She was sad this morning. Missing her ma. But by the end of the day she seemed to be doing so much better.

She is one smart cookie. She can say Mya, Simon, Jonah and Sean very clearly. She can already point out nose and eyes in English. We are seeing more and more of her personality come through every day and are loving it.

We will be heading to bed soon, if our little Suhn-shine ever falls asleep. Waking most likely to another wall.

But that’s okay, we’re getting pretty good at tearing those suckers down!